The Surprisingly Underwhelming Adventure
by Koher Javenal
Summary: Eh, I decided to put a little more effort into this one. Zer0 catches wind of a group of Lance Assassins, and so forth, is going to attempt to kill them. To death.
1. Chapter 1: Challenge

**Chapter 1**

**Challenge**

Zer0 sat alone, on the balcony of HQ. It was a bright day out, Which made it a REALLY bright day on sanctuary. Zer0 was bored out of his mind. He was once again lacking a challenge. He sat on the railing, polishing his sword in the shadow of the overhang, pondering what might prove to be a challenge, such as stealing Axtons turret, or dying Mayas tattoos red without her knowledge. He quickly put that one out of his mind as the Siren approached, not convinced that she could not read minds.

The Tattooed woman gazed at the back of his head, before greeting him

"Yo."

Zer0 slightly turned his head, so he could see her out of the corner of his eye.

"_Siren, I am bored. / I have no more jobs to do. / I lack a challenge"_

"Yeah, you lack social skills too. A "Hi" would have been nice."

Zer0 glared at her before sighing.

"_What do you desire? / My time is valuable / and slipping away."_

Maya decided it was an improvement, and therefore presented a sheet of paper.

"Recently, we have learned the location of a small group of Lance Assassins."

Zer0 took the paper; examining it.

The Lance Assassins, an organization founded by Atlas, was an army of Assassins similar to Zer0 himself. They had been wiped out by the previous generation of Vault Hunters. Zer0 was intrigued.

"_Perhaps this will prove / the challenge I need / to fulfill my life."_

Zer0 stated as a red glow filled the shadows, a holographic :D appearing on his visor.

Maya grinned as Zer0 vaulted off of the railing, landing on the street below.

It had begun.

**The start of my promised larger, more detailed, Amzastory. This will go on my Mcdonalds Work Application Forum. **

**I should probably ask if anyone actually liked it and WANTS another chapter.**


	2. Chapter 2: Road-Trip (Of Death)

**Chapter 2:**

**Road Trip (Of Death)**

Snow shot out from under the tires as Zer0 expertly navigated the vehicle across the snowy terrain of Three Horns Divide, bullets pelting against the back of the car as bandits cursed at him. His destination was The Friend Ship Gulag in the Dust. That's where the Assassins are hiding, and it may not be long before they move again.

Zer0 was debating about how he would kill them, deciding that steal may be the preferable approach, when a rather large Psyco charged in front of the vehicle.

The Assassin wrote it off as no big deal and that he would run it down. The Psyco proved smarter than most, leaping and landing on the hood of the car, caving it in.

"_Why do you bug me / I must complete my main goal / Get off you bastard."_

Zer0 called to the Psyco, turning the wheel left and right, trying to shake the Psyco off. He leaned to the left as the Psyco brought its Buzz Axe down through what could only be described as the wind shield of the car, firmly planting the Axe in the driver seat. With one hand on the wheel, he used the other to keep the deadly weapon where it was, in the seat.

The Psyco tugged furiously, and as he leaned far back, Zer0 released it while simultaneously stopping the vehicle, sending the delusional giant flying off of the hood of the car.

Zer0 boosted the car forwards, crushing the Psyco under the tires as he continued forwards.

"_Stay out of my way / I am on my own mission / I will cut you foo'." _Zer0 claimed in a bored tone.

You know.

The usual one.

* * *

><p>Clap-Trap sat alone, and almost forgotten, for you can never forget Clap-Trap. It was at that time an idea popped into his… Thing…<p>

* * *

><p>The Assassin soon arrived on the bright rocky plains of Three Horns Valley, stopping when his echo communicator forwarded a call. A mechanical voice cut through the static.<p>

"**Hey! Buddy! You took off without telling me where you were going! I am throwing a second party, in honour of me saving Pandora!"**

Zer0's blood ran cold as the small robots voice came through. The mood throughout the area shifted.

"**I just wanted to see if-" **

Clap-Trap was abruptly cut off as Zer0 turned off his echo communicator, before the suicidal thoughts crept in. It was then that the vehicle began to shake and rattle, perhaps in dismay. Maybe it had heard Clap-Trap, and was just as depressed as Zer0.

This proved not to be the case, as when he looked back, 4 Skags had latched onto the bumper of the car.

Zer0 glared at them, and they would be quite terrified if they could see it through his mask.

"_You guys suck so much / I cannot get a moment / of peace or quiet."_

It was then that The Assassin noticed the blue glow radiating off of one of the creatures. Electricity.

He looked down at his scrap metal vehicle. A perfect conductor.

"_Shit" _Was all the time the poet had to calmly state before the electric charge traveled through the vehicle, igniting the fuel and causing it to EXPLODE! Boooooooom!1 It was awesome.

Well, maybe not for Zer0.

**I haven't played Borderlands 2 in a while, so it was kinda tough doing the descriptions. If you don't like the way I'm writing it, lemme know, so I can see if I can fix it. Also so I don't look like an idiot.**

**Chapters will come out, say, every 2-4 days. I intend to make them longer as my writing improves. I also tend to fuss over the story for 1-3 hours, so it can take time. Sorry? **

**Kay bai**


	3. Chapter 3: Hunt

**Chapter 3**

**Hunt**

Zer0 sat behind a rock, a short distance from the wreckage. Behind him, bandits searched the remains of the destroyed vehicle under the setting sun.

"I don't see nothin'!" Called a bandit part of the search.

"He has to be 'ere somewhere!" Came the reply of another bandit. "A vault hunt'r was seen'd earlier, this had to be him!"

As the bandits argued, Zer0 stealthily crawled away, avoiding the piles a Skag feces as well as the piles of Skag. Their charred remains dotted the area around the smoldering wreck.

_"My vision blackens / The darkness closes in quick / Must find assistance." _Zer0 whispered, the only thing close enough to hear him being the grass casting the shadows which concealed him.

The Assassin turned to glance at the bandits, deciding they would be no trouble. Upon looking forward, he noticed a small, blue, ugly tin shack.

A piece of shrapnel had embedded itself into Zer0's chest, and would need to be pulled out. Somewhere safe, preferably.

Zer0, after much silent grunting, had crawled to the shack. He tried the handle, surprised to find it unlocked, and soon learned what is was.

The smell hit him worse than the explosion. An outhouse. A freakin' outhouse.

The Assassin stared at the pool of crimson forming on his chest, before placing two hands firmly on the metal shard lodged in the center of the pool.

He closed his eyes tight, and pulled. It came out from 3 and a half inches in his chest, remaining silent throughout the procedure.

It had seemed to miss any vital organs, and Zer0 was fairly grateful it had not landed lower. in could have impaled his stomach, or worse.

After administering a short prayer to whatever god was in charge of the Hellhole known as Pandora, he left the Tin outhouse without a second glance at it's bare walls.

As the orange light gleamed off of his face plate, he turned and slipped down the road leading to the Dust.

Perfectly aware of the eyes of an unseen enemy trained on him.

**Next chapter (Tomorrow?) to earn your forgiveness for this bridge. These chapters should start getting longer (And better) the more I improve. I literally wrote a single (Terrible) Story before this one, and it was three chapters. Sorry.**

**Ciao! **


	4. Chapter 4

** Chapter 4**

**Blood Stained Sand**

The cool night air blew the sand of the Dust in swirling patterns, casting light shadows across the settled terrain. Zer0 felt the gaze of the tail somewhere behind him, knowing that if he were to turn, he would see nothing.

The Assassin decided to turn most of his focus towards the fact that he was being shot at by bandits in a vehicle running circles around him, leaving tire tracks in the sand, pale under the moonlight.

The bandits were ducking behind the walls that made up the interior of the vehicle, preventing shots from hitting them

Zer0 threw a handful of Kunai towards the taunting predator, the corrosion within exploding onto the side of the vehicle, causing the door to disintegrate.

With no cover, the bandits were easy to pick off, dropping into the sand as their essence stained the sand.

The Assassin turned his gaze from the melting bodies of his assailants, towards the top of the mountain, where he knew his pursuer was hiding.

He saw nothing but sand, blowing from the cliff.

* * *

><p>The Ninja trekked further across the dust, towards the entrance to The Friend Ship Gulag.<p>

He was stopped by another convoy of bandits, pursuing a Caravan.

Zer0 thought for a moment, before deciding that he had not quenched his blood thirst, and began to sprint across the sand to intercept the Caravan.

* * *

><p>The Assassin arrived seconds before the Caravan, and leaped with astonishing grace onto the roof of the Caravan. He drew his revolver, firing a precise shot into the head of the driver leading the convoy. The man's head snapped back, blood spraying the headrest as the vehicle swerved off to the right, crashing into a boulder.<p>

Zer0 holstered his revolver in favour of his blade, leaping onto the bumper of the Caravan. He dashed forward, seemingly across the air, closing the distance between him and the next Truck within a second.

He slid cleanly by the driver, severing his head and the headrest with it, going by the passengers before they could raise their weapons, leaving a grenade in his wake.

He used the rest of his momentum leaping off of the back of the truck, driving his blade down into the head of the final driver, before disappearing as bullets flew around him, the convoy now aware of his presence, yet too late.

* * *

><p>Axton, Maya, and Salvador sat around the table, praying what Axton had discovered was false.<p>

Earlier, he had noticed the paper the information regarding the Lance Assassins was the same type used in Hyperion Prisons.

A type only manufactured in one place on Pandora.

The Friend Ship Gulag.

* * *

><p>Zer0 proceeded to make it all worthwhile, after unsurprisingly discovering the bandits to be no challenge, by grabbing money from the chest that rested on the roof of the Caravan. He dove off, landing in a roll, before once again searching the mountain for the Tail.<p>

After failing to spot it, the Assassin set off through the shadows and swirling sand, towards The Friend Ship Gulag, under the watchful eye of a Lance Assassin.

**Well, the next chapter should conclude this story. And it will be a long one. Like, long. And Decent.**

**Acceptable Chapter?**


	5. Chapter 5: Factory Fight

**Chapter 5**

**The Factory Fight**

Zer0 entered The Friendship Gulag undetected, slipping through the shadows cast by the light of the moon, as silent as a ghost.

He avoided any guards, as well as the Loaders patrolling the area. He remembered fighting to save Roland, as well as being imprisoned here for a short amount of time before escaping and assisting his friends in the fight through Opportunity.

He cast a quick glance towards one of the towers, catching a glimpse of a figure ducking below the horizon of the building. The Pursuer was growing careless. Zer0 was in their territory now.

Zer0 made a split decision, and leaped upwards, lifting himself onto the metallic building. He ran silently across the rooftops of the buildings, towards where the figure had been.

He ran three steps up the back wall of the tower, before leaping and catching the railing of the top. He pulled himself up, once again catching sight of whom he assumed to be a Lance Assassin, her feminine figure moving swiftly across the rooftops below.

Zer0 dove off of the tower, landing gracefully on the building below.

He followed suit.

Maya, Axton, and Salvador rode in a Runner towards the Gulag, intent on warning their Friend of the trap that lay ahead. The Runner cast a long shadow as they rode across the dust, moving quickly towards the entrance to the poorly named prison.

"We might wanna hurry. Zer0 might not do so great if he gets jumped by a group of highly trained assassins." Said Axton from Shotgun, not quite sure that that statement held truth.

"Esos hijos de puta van a morir!"* Shouted Salvador from the back, drawing his rifles and firing at approaching Spider-Ants.

"I thought the message was from a reliable source. Appears not." Yelled the Siren over the gunshots.

The Commandos face was grim as he imagined finding the Assassins body cut up in an alley way.

"He'll be fine. I think."

Zer0 soon arrived at what appeared to be an abandoned building. The Assassin must have slipped inside.*

"_The cliché is real / and so are the Assassins. / I must stay on guard."_ The Ninja said quietly, staring at the building in front of him.

The Ninja entered cautiously through the front door. An elevator had returned from its trip down, settling with a loud creak. It was the kind they used in mines.

Zer0 boarded, pulling the lever and causing it to descend. He pondered what he would find at the bottom. Perhaps a cave. Or perhaps death. His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of a metaphorical answer as the elevator squealed to a stop, revealing an underground factory.

Pipes crisscrossed the ceiling, descending into various machines. He drew his blade from his back,* preparing for a fight. He heard light footsteps meeting the catwalks in the shadows. His helmet enhanced audio, allowing him to hear things impossible to the naked ear.

Zer0 proceeded down the steps, when he heard the whizzing of a blade. The Ninja swung his sword while spinning to the left, sending a shuriken edged with blue light spinning into the shadows to his right.

"_Show yourself coward. / I would have thought you to be / more honourable." _ Zer0 called out spitefully.

"We don't fear you, or anyone else!" An angry female voice shouted, muffled by a helmet. The voice was followed by another shuriken, this time more forcefully. Zer0 twirled out of its path.

"We have no homes, no family. We only know combat. Now leave, or die." A barrage of shuriken came from multiple directions, and Zer0 evaded them all with ease. The Assassins hade revealed themselves,. Nine of them, three on each Cat Walk. Zero raised his blade, pointing at the one whom had spoken.

"_I have come for you / I have come for all of you / Do me a favour." _Zer0's tone became darker with each segment of the poem.

"_And die."_ And with that, he vanished.

The Ninja re-appeared behind her, driving is blade through her spine before she could speak once again.

The other Assassins launched into action, firing weapons, throwing knives, and making for Zer0 with their blades drawn.

Axton and Maya were dealing with Loaders, whilst Salvador was trying to find Zer0.

"Shit! Lay OFF!" Shouted the Commando, retrieving his turret and firing at the same time.

Salvador was having no luck finding Zer0 in the Alleys. Just rats.

Zer0 locked blades with an Assassin, whilst kicking away another. Balanced on one foot, he vaulted the Assassin, bringing his legs up and over; similar to a one handed handspring off of her shoulder, forcing her to lower. The Ninja landed with his back to hers, and spun with a hook kick, slamming her into a propane tank. He brought his blade in a horizontal arc, the shock travelling through his arm as it connected with another.

He leaped backwards while flicking his wrist, launching a volley of Kunai. Most of the Assassins evaded the Knives, except for one, whom was electrocuted.

Zer0 spun in the air, landing and immediately leaping again, pulling himself over the railing of the catwalk above. He twirled as he landed, his leg arcing towards an Assassin that had followed suit. His boot connected with her helmet, sending her spiralling back to hell. Or at least the ground 5 meters below.

The Ninja sprinted across the metal grid of the catwalk, the clanging echoing through the Factory. He slid to a stop, turning to face the three Assassins that had pursued him, before disappearing.

He reappeared in front of them with his blade drawn, his sword already impaled in the chest of one of the women.

Zer0 let go of the grip of his Sword, dropping and sweeping the legs of the remaining two out from under their feet. He drew his Revolver before they hit the ground, firing two shots.

Salvador ran through the Alleys, unable to hear the shots echoing through the underground factory, instead searching for his Face-plated friend.

Zer0 darted across catwalk, hearing the whistling sound the shuriken approaching him made. He dove into a roll, avoiding the explosion that rocked the catwalk, twisting the metal grid beyond repair. In a second, he was on his feet, vaulting the railing down onto the machinery below.

"_Tight spaces are not / ideal for explosives / must make for the lift." _The Ninja said to himself, swiftly doing just that.

**So, I said long, but this chapter is getting LONG LONG, so I'm going to end it here.**

**The next chapter should be just as long.**

***I don't speak Spanish yo, so I'm going by Google translate. Sorry if it's inaccurate.**

***The Lance Assassins will be referred to as "Assassins" From this chapter to the last, and Zer0 will not be.**

***In my mind's eye, it takes time to digistruct the Katana, so he keeps it on his back when prepared for combat. **

**UNTIL NEXT TIME MY SINGLE REVIEWER**

**That was lame.**


	6. Chapter 6: Crimson Dance

**Chapter 6 Finale**

**The Crimson Dance Under The Moonlight**

The lift ascended, the Assassins did not.

Not on the lift anyways.

Zer0 rode on the lift, shooting downwards at the Assassins climbing the girders that lined the side. The Assassins skilfully evaded Zer0's shots, retaliating with their explosive shuriken.

The platform was rocked by the thunderous blasts, almost sending the Ninja tumbling back down the shaft, to which would quite literally be, rock bottom.

Zer0 steadied himself, cursing. The shaking had knocked the rounds he had been loading from his hand, which deeply frustrated the Ninja; more than it would have Most.

"_Curses. If / only I had five fingers / This would not be." _ Zer0 said to himself, resentment evident in his voice.

The Assassins were slowly falling (Behind?) the lift. The rising elevator slowed its ascent as its grid iron doors, the only ones on the platform, facing the exit, were pierced by the moonlight, casting an interesting shadow across the rusted platform.

Zer0, however, was not interested in the rather interesting shadow, and instead was more interested in the fact that he was being chased by seven deadly Assassins, whom threw exploding, spinning blades of death. The Ninja dashed through the doors as they opened, moving quickly towards the Alleyways.

* * *

><p>Meanwhile, a rather suspiciously muscular dwarf was cursing in the deep shadows cast by the narrow walls of the alleyways, stumbling as he stubbed his toe on every little thing extruding from the floor. It was then that he ran into a lamp post. His confusion of why in the world, or so it will be worded to keep the rating where it is, there was a lamp post in an alleyway was cleared up.<p>

This was no lamp post, but a tall, black clad figure, with four digits.

* * *

><p>Maya and Axton hauled ass down the street, being pursued by every loader within the walls of the Hyperion Prison. Axton, once again threw his turret behind him, in hopes that it would not be shot to pieces before it could unfurl its automatic machinegun. Axton's hopes, along with his turret, were crushed.<p>

Even though Maya was huffing, she found the breath to laugh the shocked expression of the Commando.

Her smile died as two silhouettes appeared on the rooftop ahead. One was a rather peculiar height, whilst the other was taller than both Axton and Maya.

The short figure pulled two rifles from seemingly nowhere, while the other simply disappeared.

At this point, the Siren could guess who the figures were, and heard the sound of metal falling to pieces behind her.

Salvador began firing his weapons, obliterating the ones the Ninja missed.

Axton slid to a halt before the building, the Siren turning and releasing a spray of slag from her palm.

* * *

><p>Seven silhouettes leaped gracefully from roof to roof, moving towards the sound of gunfire. They were on a hunt, and intent on avenging their fallen.<p>

* * *

><p>Zer0 had a hard time getting the Gunzerker onto the roof. It had involved a lot of cursing, death threats, grunting, insults, and a rather useful Tire Iron.<p>

Salvador finally managed to pull himself onto the roof, with the aid of Zer0.

"_Move your fat ass up / or I get the tire iron / You won't enjoy that." _Zer0 warned with an annoyed tone.

"Grow a couple more inches and you can step up there, bean pole." The Mexican said, looking down to an absent Zer0. He looked up to see the unmoving Ninja perched above him, still as a statue with his hand extended.

Salvador gratefully took it, and was surprised as Zer0 pulled him up with much more strength than what his lean frame should be able to use.

"Thanks, Amigo." Salvador mumbled.

Zer0's faceplate was covered with the red hologram of a ^_^

Salvador remained silent, fuming at the fat ass comment.

* * *

><p>Soon nothing but scrap metal lined the street, in piles on the sidewalk and road.<p>

But the Vault Hunters were silent, staring up at the rooftop, lined with seven Assassins.

"**Give us the Ninja, and we shall make your ends quick." **Stated an Assassin.

Maya was the first to speak. "Zer0 can, and _will _come to you." She claimed, her SMG trained on the one whom had spoken.

Zer0 stepped forward, with his Katana inn one hand, and his revolver in his other.

"_Have you memorized / The name "Zer0"? There is a / Special spot in hell" _He said firmly, pointing his sword at the group. After a pause, he spoke again. _"For you."._

The Assassins showed no signs of being intimidated, much like Zer0. The other Vault Hunters however, felt their blood go cold. The question of what kind of monster they had teamed with almost entered their minds.

Zer0 dashed to the right, while the others went left.

The Assassins sprang into action, leaping to different rooftops, hurling their shuriken at the Vault Hunters.

Maya caught multiple shuriken using her phase-lock, hurling them in the general direction they came from, while Zer0 retaliated with his own barrage of throwing weapons.

Axton's turret laid down suppressive fire, covering Salvador as he popped out of cover to unleash his weapons upon the Distasteful Females.

Zer0 clashed blades with his opponent, spinning it the opposite direction, slashing her kneecaps before reversing once more, this time dealing the strike to her exposed throat.

Axton parried a vertical strike with his Tomahawk. Leaving it intertwined with the Assassins own weapon, he spun away; drawing his pistol and unloading the burst fire into her chest. She flew backwards, sprawling across the ground in a rather peculiar pose. Axton turned away, before remembering he was no longer married and looked back.

Maya ducked behind a dumpster, avoiding the shots that were launched towards her. She spun out of cover, moving horizontally whilst shooting. She rolled forwards, rising into a kneeling position unloading the rest of her clip into the chest of the Assassin.

Zer0 locked blades with yet another Assassin, and swung his blade in an arc away, before bringing it back in a fashion similar to a pendulum, only to have it parried as he was kicked away. He went with the kick, going down and turning his fall into a roll, coming up a short distance away. He leaped backwards, avoiding the flurry of slashes directed at his chest. He ducked under the final slash, and rose like a helix, his blade dicing the chest of his opponent multiple times in quick succession.

Maya turned and barley sidestepped the blade of an Assassin, kneeing her in the gut before butting her in the back of the head with the stock of her weapon, before using that weapon to obliterate her.

Salvador blocked the blade of a sword with his rifle, using it as a staff of sorts. It was going swimmingly until the Assassin delivered a second strike, cutting the gun in half.

Salvador dodged away, before turning back unexpectedly, giving a hard knock to the bottom of her jaw, sending her tumbling. He fired his pistol four times into her head.

Axton was pretty happy about his role in all of this when an Assassin, the last one, rushed him.

She was anti-climatically gunned down by his turret. Shaaaaaaame.

* * *

><p>Zer0, Axton, Maya and Salvador sat around the table at HQ, recounting the events of the fight.<p>

_"Axton you douchebag / There was one Assassin left / And you gunned her down!" _The Assassin said resentfully, a frowny face on his Visor.

"Not my fault my baby knows how to take care of herself!" The Commando retorted.

The Ninja scoffed, raising his sword, examining it calmly.

Axton felt a chill race down his spin, and swore he saw an eye reflected in the blade. A radioactive green one.

Even after writing it off as his imagination, he decided to shut up.

The building fell quiet as the sunrise overtook the moonlight cast across Pandora.

Edn

**This was the second story I have written.**

**The end was kinda awkward. I suck at endings.**

**So. That's that.**

**Perhaps the next will be an original Halloween special NOT Featuring zombies.**

**Unless.**

**You know.**

**You want that kind of thing.**

**I'm such a sellout.  
><strong>

**;-;**

**Also, shout out to Genesis Vakarian for being one of the first to read this shit cover to cover, as well as providing feedback for every chapter.**

**Thanks man.**


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